Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
