Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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