Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
