Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
