The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We need a shit load of segways right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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