Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
