Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
