It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
