i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
