..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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