U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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