i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
