I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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