I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
