just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
