Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm passing your future prison.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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