Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
