I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
