How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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