No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
