We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
