Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
