Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
