The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
