Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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