Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
