her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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