Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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