im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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