So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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