We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and she was petting her beer can
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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