your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
