i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
