i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
