Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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