Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
