I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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