Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
