Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
