I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
