would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
