If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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