Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
