we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we should paint friendship bongs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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