Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
