I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
