Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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