we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
