So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
