I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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