tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
