yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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